Updated: Oct 22, 2020
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Have you woken up one day, texted a person you were lovingly thinking about, waited for a response and absolutely nothing came back your way?
Did you start thinking that perhaps he/she is too busy today so you'll let it go and you'll try tomorrow again. Then tomorrow was the same story, and the next day, and the next - no reply, nothing, not even message's been seen; then perhaps you even you tried to call, but to no avail - no answer on the other line.
It's a terrible feeling being ignored, disregarded and avoided. How is it that someone can go from being so sweet and caring to a complete stranger? A colder being than anything cold you've ever experienced before?
This is what happens when someone is being ghosted. Some of us have been there so we understand the feeling but we don't truly understand the other person's point of view since we're not the kind to do that to someone.
Dating in this day and age has become more and more unpredictable because of ghosting. If you are not 100% familiar with the term, it refers to cease of all communication with the person you are dating and disappearing without giving them an explanation.
It is the explanation that is ultimately missing in order to call this act as ghosting. When someone says or at least hints a good bye, then we know, their see you later actually meant have a good life. When there's a hint, or an action, or a gesture, a feeling of letting go can be perceived, and that can be ok, even if hurts.
People do ghosting as an easy way to end things with the person they are dating and to avoid any serious conversations that would make them in any way mildly on considerably uncomfortable.
People who ghost can be both men and women. Is it done by all ages, customs and traditions. It's done all over the world and more and more often nowadays for no apparent reason. Younger people may do it more often that the older generations, perhaps because the new generations, as a whole, have grown up with a certain disconnect of how to properly interact and connect with people.
Ever since social media came into existence in our every day lives, the rules on how we meet, socialize and communicate with one another have considerably changed.
It’s doesn’t take a genius to figure out that ghosting is a terrible thing to do, not to mention, it shows immaturity and cowardice; a lack of character, a trait some individuals need to highly focus on improving or developing further right away.
Everyone deserves and explanation, especially if you had some sort of romantic relationship with them. It can leave a victim dejected and filled with uncertainty, and who need a feeling of rejection in this way? If someone needs to let go of someone, rise up the occasion and do the right thing, it is the least someone somebody was intimately with rightly deserves.
Being ghosted can certainly affect someone’s confidence and self-esteem as they try to date someone else in the future, and the more times that this happens, the more prone someone could become to rejecting dating altogether as a type of self protection. No need to let something like this get to that point.
EYES WIDE OPEN
Dealing with ghosting is not easy but there are a couple things anyone can do to pull through such a situation.
• Acknowledge you’ve been ghosted: Acceptance can be one of the most difficult steps. As days pass by you can give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's been weeks and you are still being ignored, it’s time to come to terms with reality and don’t make excuses for them.
• Not your fault: Many people wonder what they did wrong, etc. But the truth is, you are not the guilty person here. Do your best to not torture yourself.
• Don’t look for the other person: To properly heal you need to let go, and if you need some sort of closure, you can always send a mature message of how you truly feel regarding how things were handled, but you need to be aware that a reply may not happen.
• Distract yourself: Ghosting can affect someone’s mental health and sadness is sometimes unavoidable. Fall in love again with yourself and all the things you love that surround you.
Now that you have extra time, do all those things you’ve been wanting to do or you've putting off for a while, grab a coffee with your closest friends, spend more quality time with your family, all of them will be there for you!
IN THE END
Learning to handle a form of rejection is only natural. It is true that being left without explanation does not make it easy, as without a starting point, how can anyone advance in the right direction?
The thing to remember is, the ghosting was done by someone else of lesser intellectual and emotional strength and balance.
Yes, it was us that somebody left. Were we too needy? Were we too dependent on them? Or maybe there's something we need to work on to become a better person, be better as a friend or a better lover.
Regardless of our faults, and we all have many, the respect that someone did not give us says more about them than it has to do with us in any way, shape or form.
Maybe that is what they do, and they do it often. It takes one to know one and the fact that you do not know, it says you are not part of that group and be happy for that.
Having a high emotional and intellectual strength is not found in everyone, it takes time to develop; it had to be learned and it is usually taught by affirming and caring parents, friends and individuals that came into our lives throughout our journey.
So being ghosted, there's is a possibility that it was something that needed to be experienced so you know what not do to in your present and future relationships. You will know and understand that ghosting someone will speak volumes of yourself and of your ways of dealing with someone you are intimate with, and you will not tolerate joining that group.
Be thankful it happened, however hard and brutal it may be right now. If you are wondering why you should be thankful, think of it this way:
You technically dodged a bullet. And it’s better that they showed their true colors before you were ever more invested into that relationship.
It is possible that you avoided nights and days of real heartache as this other person would had continued to do you more wrong for a longer period of time while you spent higher efforts and energies, giving all you had, trying to maintain your one way loving relationship.
There’s learning in every experience in life, all we have to do is pause and reflect, and then keep moving forward.
You want to be with someone reliable and open to communication regardless of the outcome. So, they did you a favor!
You are worth so much, so don’t let this situation negatively mark any future relationships or let it affect your professional and future aspirations.
Life is certainly about learning from our experiences, both the good ones and bad ones. This was a bad one, yeah that right, there will be good ones, and most definitely many, but you can't experience those good ones that are coming your way if you were to be with this bad one that has recently thankfully left you.
So yeah - Hold on tight! It'll be rough ride for a little while but the best is yet you come.
Now you will know and appreciate it when you see good loving and sincere affection being given. All you'll need to do will be, to give the love you'll be receiving - in your two way relationship - in return.